


What If We Put Our Minecraft Beds Together (And We Were Both Boys?)

by gotosleepryan



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, Gen, ariadne keysmashes, it's just them playing minecraft and the chat log what more do you need to know, just for shits and giggles., saito doesn't appear in the first chapter but he will i promise, this is literally. LITERALLY.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotosleepryan/pseuds/gotosleepryan
Summary: A group of friends (and Cobb) and the chat log they produce while playing Minecraft. There really isn't much else to say about this mess except for this: Hijinks will ensue.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	What If We Put Our Minecraft Beds Together (And We Were Both Boys?)

**Author's Note:**

> This is simultaneously the best and worst thing I've ever written. You have been thoroughly warned. I'm rating this because of the rampant language. That's literally the only reason.

<point_man has joined the game.>

ari2363: hey arthur

point_man: eames is having trouble logging on but he'll be here shortly

ari2363: ah okay

point_man: he forgot which password went to which account. again. 

ari2363: ooh you sure know how to pick em 

<ComDobb has joined the game.>

point_man: yeah about as well as cobb knows how to pick usernames

ari2363: sdjjdjskjs 

ComDobb: whatever you're talking about at least it's not point_man. 

ari2363: lmao okay boomer

point_man: 1. did you just “okay boomer” cobb, who definitely is not a boomer, and 2. save that for the creepers. 

ari2363: dsjfhafjl 

ari2363: that's actually really fucking funny 

point_man: besides my username is more creative than my name with swapped letters and everyone still knows who i am

ComDobb: nice biome

ari2363: yeah it's clearly all my fault that we spawned in a fucking desert

point_man: hey cobb want this cactus i just dug out? you're acting like a real prick. 

ari2363: ASGHJDKSDGH

<arthursbf has joined the game.>

point_man: eames are you fucking serious

arthursbf: well it's true? 

point_man: no i mean you made another new account 

point_man: just change the goddamn password

arthursbf: like hell i will

point_man: eames punched me

arthursbf: well we need some wood but all i can see is this stick in the mud

ComDobb: kids stop fighting

arthursbf: lmao nice username 

ComDobb: fuck. off. 

<8cats has joined the game.>

ari2363: YUSUF THANK GOD

8cats: hi

point_man: wait your username was 7cats last time we played. 

8cats: ...

point_man: what's its name?

8cats: Lucy. 

point_man: give her my regards. 

8cats: she says meow in return. 

point_man: everyone else go home i've been blessed 

point_man: i needn't ever worry about sneezing again. 

arthursbf: aw

ari2363: holy fuck i just thought of the worst goddamn thing

8cats: :?

ari2363: cominick

point_man: thanks i hate it

ComDobb: why don't we look for trees instead of making fun of me? 

point_man: well i mean

point_man: i'm having fun right now so why ruin that

8cats: arthur lucy says please? 

point_man: as i was saying i'll head in the direction the sun is moving in

ari2363: um you mean west?

point_man: shh. that’s real world logic.

arthursbf: hey arthur when we get beds wanna,,, put them next to each other? 

ari2363: eames you scallywag! 

point_man: of course! but does this mean we'll have to,,,, share a house? 

ari2363: HUSH YOU'RE GETTING TOO SPICY FOR YUSUF AND HIS CATS

arthursbf: alright but arthur i'll be waiting ;) 

ari2363: okay so if the sun rises to the east and sets to the west, i'm heading south from the spawn point. 

8cats: great, i'll go east. 

arthursbf: then i'm going north. 

ComDobb: what should i do?

point_man: build a sand castle or something. tame a dead shrub. find a stronghold. 

ComDobb: maybe i'll find a desert temple. that seems more feasible than a stronghold.

8cats: already done. 

point_man: nice 

8cats: there's literally nothing but rotten flesh, string, and one (1) name tag. dibs on the name tag. 

arthursbf: fair enough. good luck on finding an anvil though. 

8cats: i always manage. 

point_man: i'm thinking yusuf will name a bunny first. anyone else care to wager their first diamond? 

arthursbf: you know i can't resist a good gamble, darling. put my wager on a cat. 

ari2363: mmm no i'm gonna have to predict a horse. 

ComDobb: hell, i'll guess on a tiny slime. never get it right anyway. 

arthursbf: well, looks like one of us is going to have enough diamonds to craft a nice hoe or two. 

point_man: had it not been for the distance between us i would have slaughtered you

arthursbf: true, and you're the last person who would ever need a hoe ;) 

point_man: why? 

arthursbf: because you've got me, darling. 

ComDobb: how do you dig out a shrub without destroying it? 

point_man: you're so fucking stupid

8cats: you need a pair of shears! :D

ComDobb: thanks yusuf

ComDobb: wait we have no way to get any

point_man: no shit sherlock

arthursbf: hey everyone, start heading north, there's an acacia village up ahead and it'll be dark soon

ari2363: awesome, thanks! 

8cats: on my way! 

point_man: same here

ComDobb: ditto

8cats: i've made it to the land of ugly wood

ari2363: i could make something pretty out of that. 

point_man: we know this, and we love you. 

ari2363: :D

ComDobb: why are you such a not-asshole to everyone else? 

point_man: because they’re not-awful next question

arthursbf: look you two can squabble all you want when you get here but focus on being not-dead first. 

point_man: touche. 

8cats: do we just take beds from the village or something? 

arthursbf: sounds like as good a plan as any. 

ComDobb: made it, can i yell at arthur now? 

ComDobb: nvm he was already here

8cats: is that why i heard a sound like you hear when you’re hit? 

point_man: yes. :)

ComDobb: rude. 

ComDobb: where are you all planning on staying? 

point_man: i refuse to sleep in the same building as cobb. 

8cats: why? 

point_man: he’s monster bait. 

ComDobb: oh my god i apologized so many fucking times for that already

point_man: SORRY DOESN’T BRING BACK GREGORY AND THE EXTRA HOUR I HAD TO PUT INTO REBUILDING MY HOUSE

8cats: gregory? 

point_man: cobb killed my fucking dog. 

arthursbf: it was a travesty for the ages. 

ComDobb: i literally did not kill the fucking dog but go off ig

point_man: no but you sure as hell brought the creeper that did, also show a little respect for *gregory*. 

8cats: i’ve put a name on the name tag! 

point_man: oh good that must mean there’s an anvil around here. 

ari2363: i see the village, finally. 

point_man: okay thank god, we now have a place with resources and free beds. 

ari2363: god what if golems attacked for stealing things 

point_man: nightmare fuel

arthursbf: eh, i always love a good challenge to accompany me when i steal things

point_man: except you literally never fuck with an iron golem they will fuck you up 

ComDobb: okay i’m in bed now, any new username recommendations since apparently mine is just that bad? 

point_man: monsterbait

ComDobb: your opinion doesn’t count

arthursbf: MonsterBait

ComDobb: fucking hell, eames

ComDobb: okay anyone have a recommendation that ISN'T monsterbait or MonsterBait or any other form of capitalizing different letters? and before anyone thinks about it, no underscores or anything of that caliber either.

8cats: yeah, i have one

ComDobb: okay please, tell me

8cats: ….BonsterMait. 

<ComDobb has left the game.>

arthursbf: yusuf you’re killing arthur

arthursbf: he’s literally on the ground laughing so hard he’s choking

arthursbf: he’s also telling me to stop describing what’s going on. 

arthursbf: oh okay he’s telling me to tell you he isn’t in hysterics

ari2363: we get it ajhfljha

arthursbf: should we continue playing or should we leave the game until cobb comes back? 

8cats: i mean personally i’m okay with just sleeping, going to the next morning, and then quitting for now. maybe we can play some more later, when cobb isn’t sulking. 

point_man: what do you mean “when he’s not” he’s always sulking like a little kid. or worse yet, like a brooding teenager. 

arthursbf: as if you never do that. 

point_man: ANYWAY

point_man: ariadne, how do you feel about that? 

ari2363: i’m good with whatever 

ari2363: hey should we invite saito? :O 

arthursbf: i’m not opposed to that. 

point_man: yeah that sounds fine

8cats: that sounds like a great idea! as long as he isn’t too busy, that is.

point_man: no one would pass up an opportunity to shit on cobb as much as possible like how we’re doing 

8cats: gosh we’re terrible people bc we’re bullying cobb

Point_man: i know, we’re the worst. 

ari2363: you’re not wrong with your first point arthur but that’s not why i want to invite him

point_man: oh? why, then? 

ari2363: because cobb is less likely to rage quit when saito is here :)

point_man: shdkajhgf you’re a fucking genius

8cats: damn ari you got a keysmash from ARTHUR of all people 

arthursbf: i love the way your mind works, ariadne. 

ari2363: thank you :D

8cats: well then, it’s a deal. we sleep, get off for now, and come back with saito. 

point_man: i’ve been in this bed for a while are we gonna sleep before the sun comes up or not? 

arthursbf: aw, you have a bed next to yours :)

ari2363: AAAA THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE

8cats: lol just go to sleep

ari2363: alright, talk to you guys later. 

<8cats has left the game.>

<point_man has left the game.>

<arthursbf has left the game.>


End file.
